Our third episode is a conversation with Chloe Ciferri, Co-Founder and Executive Director of the Adalyn Rose Foundation. Chloe founded the Adalyn Rose Foundation (ARF) with her husband, Adam, in honor of their daughter Adalyn Rose, who they lost unexpectedly during pregnancy in 2017.
In this episode, Chloe shares about her pregnancy with Adalyn, as well as her unexpected illness and losing Adalyn in the second trimester. Chloe shares about the act of kindness from a loved one that inspired her to form her beautiful nonprofit to support other families going through loss.
In this episode, we discuss…
ways to create memories with your baby in the short time they are with you in the hospital and how meaningful gentle guidance can be,
the decisions parents of stillborn babies need to make regarding funeral and cremation of their baby,
and opportunities to honor your baby after they are gone as well as ways to create new memories and continue the parenting relationship with your baby.
My Key Takeaways:
Losing a baby is out of the natural order of life. It's unexpected and always come with some level of trauma. Connecting with others and seeking out support can help.
Your time with your baby is for you. No one is looking at you with judgment. You get to choose how you want to make memories with your baby. Read the books. Take the pictures. Sing the songs. Record the videos. This is your time.
Incorporating the fun as you remember your baby and connect with others is so important. Organizations like the Adalyn Rose Foundation and Butterfly Baskets offer events for mothers, fathers, siblings, and families; opportunities to have fun as you honor and celebrate your baby and their legacy.
Transcript
Transcript for Ep 3 Conversation with Chloe Ciferri of Adalyn Rose Foundation (Auto-generated, please forgive any typos)
Katie Hill00:09
Welcome to the Butterfly Spot. I'm Katie Hill, the Founder and Executive Director of Butterfly Baskets, a 501c3 pregnancy and infant loss support nonprofit based in Malvern, Pennsylvania. This podcast offers a space for connection and support for our community, the Butterfly Band. On this podcast, we have interviews with professionals and experts in the field, conversations with parents who've experienced loss, and update episodes sharing about what's new with Butterfly Baskets.
On today's episode, we have an interview with the Co-founder and Executive Director of the Adalyn Rose Foundation. Chloe Ciferri. Chloe founded the Adalyn Rose Foundation with her husband, Adam, in honor of their daughter, Adalyn, who they lost unexpectedly during pregnancy in 2017. In this episode, Chloe shares about her pregnancy with Adalyn as well as her unexpected illness and losing Adalyn in the second trimester. Chloe shares about the act of kindness from a loved one that inspired her to form her beautiful nonprofit, to support other families going through loss. She shares about the different supports and services that the Adalyn rose foundation provides. And we chat about possible ways to work together.
Before we jump in, I wanted to share that registration is officially open for the Butterfly Baskets Flutter Run. This is our third annual 5k run and one mile. This year's run will be at Wilson Farm Park in Wayne on November 6th. Check out the link in the show notes or visit our website to sign up. Now onto our chat with Chloe.
Welcome Chloe. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast today.
Chloe Ciferri01:37
Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be here.
Katie Hill01:39
I was so excited to meet you for the first time at your siblings event and it was at can Nobles and it was such a wonderful day. So that was one of the things we're gonna chat about later on in the podcast.
Chloe Ciferri01:51
I'm excited to be here and just full disclosure. My three living children are upstairs. Addie's younger sibling. If you hear any background noise, it might be them, but they are with a babysitter. So hopefully they'll be pretty quiet. And also we have three animals. One of which is down here too, a little cat.
So if you hear him meowing, this is a, the life here. We're a little bit crazy, but I love it. We're gonna do our best to keep the background noise down, but just so everyone listening.
Katie Hill02:19
Perfect. Thank you. I think a lot of us are in this same boat.. Yep. Chloe, if you wanna share about anything you wanna share about Adalyn Rose, the inspiration for your beautiful organization that you started.
Chloe Ciferri02:32
Yeah. Thank you. I would love to, so yeah, my name's Chloe Ciferri. I am the co-founder with my husband, Adam, who is Adalyn's dad. And basically we created the nonprofit about two years. Yeah. We launched officially launched on Addie's second birthday to our main mission, the core and the heart of what we do is to support other families through their initial loss.
And then through life after loss of a baby. This has come about because of our daughter, Adalyn, who we lost during pregnancy, she died during my second trimester. I was, it was our first pregnancy. Everything was really great and really healthy. And we were so excited to start our family. It was unexpected.
We had just been married a year, but we had been together for a while and we were just, we were ready. We were excited to become parents. And honestly, from the minute we got. Positive pregnancy tests. I feel like we really started to just embrace it. And we bought a house closer to where we grew up to be around our family.
We really started taking life. I feel like you see that pregnancy test and you're like, all right, it's, we're growing up here. This is like time to get our stuff together. And we really did. We embraced it. And we were just so excited. I remember we had a really awesome gender reveal for her. One of my favorite memories and our whole family was thrilled to find out.
We were having a baby girl and Adam was. I think like at first really thinking it was gonna be a boy and kind of, he was super into sports growing up and, and was just like excited thought it would be a boy. And then when it was a girl, he was like, I never knew how badly I wanted a daughter, like until now.
And he was just so emotional and so excited. He picked out her first outfit when we went shopping and he was just ready for, to be her father and already had felt he was her father. So we were excited and. Getting ready to finally move into the house we had bought. And then one weekend I ended up getting really sick, not knowing what was going on and went to the local emergency room.
And they were like very stumped on what was going on. And no one knew and they did a lot of testing and everything was coming back inconclusive, or they just had no clue what was going on with me. So they ended up admitting. And I kept getting worse. To be honest, I had horrible fevers. I couldn't really walk or stand.
I was just completely drained when we had originally got in they into the hospital, they did check Alan's heartbeat and she was doing good. And honestly, it was our first pregnancy. We were younger and I think just very naive. And honestly, I was like, she's gonna be fine. This is just me. Like I never stayed overnight in a hospital before that time.
Like, I was pretty overall healthy. Just, I don't know. I had a higher pain tolerance. I wasn't ever used to that sort of thing or being really sick or anything like that. And so I just was naive and I just thought, you know what? They might give me like antibiotic, or I don't know what they're gonna do fluids. Maybe I'm just really dehydrated and we're gonna be on our Merry way. And I just didn't think much. And then I remember my sister came in to visit me. My family was so worried and again, I think they were probably not as naive. My sisters are a little bit older than me, and I think people might have been more concerned for me and for Adalyn than I even was.
Cuz I think I just was living like everything was gonna be fine. And I remember my sister coming in to the hospital to visit and she was just like checking on me. And I said, you know what Nat? They're coming at me with all of these decisions and all of these different things and there's different medications they could give me, but it could possibly impact Addie.
And I just feel like I don't care what happens. I just need her to be okay. I don't care what happens to me. I don't care what they need to do to me. I just need my daughter to be okay. And I really, in, in those like, moments, I feel like really started. Feeling like a mother, but like, you have to make these decisions for your children and they're not easy, but all you want is a happy and healthy baby.
And I just remember telling my sister and wow. Like I just can't wait to meet her. I'm so excited to be her mom. The day after that I had been checked, but Addie had not been checked by the doctors and I was getting a little bit like, okay, like my mama instinct was coming out. I'm like, I was still in my second trimester.
So I wasn't feeling her too much, but I like hadn't felt those flutters in a little bit. And I just had this instinct to be honest with you. And I remember saying to our nurse, I would like to hear my daughter's heartbeat and they really pushed back. They were like, no, we don't need to do. And I remember just saying, I really just wanna hear her heartbeat.
I wanna know she's. And so they did. And the nurse came in with the, just the Doppler. And it was obviously, if you're listening to this podcast, you most likely have been in a situation similar to this where you're sitting there and the nurse, or the doctor looks at you with this look of sadness and heaviness.
And she just said, I'm not picking up a heartbeat. And then I remember her kind of being like, but let me go get the doctor, like maybe it's. And so she left and I remember Adam and I looking at each other and it was like all of that naive. Went away. We were in it and we were faced with a reality that our daughter had passed away.
And I remember looking at him and we were just sobbing. We knew in our gut, we had never had that much difficulty finding our heartbeat. Like in the previous appointments, we were far enough along. It shouldn't have been that difficult. So we had from that moment, no. And then the doctor came in with the ultrasound.
He confirmed that she had passed away and we were a mess. I just felt like everything had been taken away from me and our daughter's life and everything we had dreamed of for her was gone. And. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I remember the doctor looking at us and saying, so now we need to figure out Chloe and Adam, like how you want to go about delivering her, but we don't really need to talk about this until you are healthier because you are way too sick to move forward with anything.
So we. Decided to just rest. We cried really. And our family came, we cried a lot, but we were so tired and so sick. We were like, okay, we're not even gonna figure out when we're gonna be induced. It wasn't even on our radar because the doctor had said no. And honestly, I was like, I don't know if anyone else.
Has felt like this, but I was like, all right. So can they give me a C-section, how can I, how can this happen? That I do not need to give birth to my daughter this way, because I do not know how I can possibly give birth to my baby who has died? Like, how do you do this? I don't know how I'll ever recover from this.
That is probably the most traumatic thing money. One could go through, like, how am I gonna do that? Yeah. Especially
with it being your. Yeah,
exactly. And I hadn't delivered a living child before. Like, I, I was not prepared. I wasn't, we hadn't done any classes. Like I literally had no idea what to expect. So like we just cried.
Yeah. We did a lot of crying. I remember Adam pushed his hospital couch up to my bed and we just laid there and cried and cried. And then eventually they had given me medicine, cuz I was just so upset and I like fell asleep and then two hours later I woke up and what now I know after delivering her and delivering two other children were contractions.
And so my body just started, went into labor naturally that night and it was the. Excruciating painful, physically painful experience of my life. And I think because true, I was just so sick. I had 104 degree fevers off and on, and I was just a week. I was not in a great place physically to do that. And then mentally I was just so exhausted and so sad, but yeah, I went into labor naturally and I was on like a general floor.
Because I was being treated for my illness. And so I remember just having contraction on top of contraction and I think their plan behind the scenes was for me to deliver in the room I was in, which was not labor and delivery. It was just a general floor. Yeah. I think they were probably busy up in labor and delivery.
I don't know, but it was a. Rough that point was rough because I just remember screaming. I was in so much pain and no epidural or anything, but it was just like, it was just like a crazy experience waking up. And then just being on that regular floor where people were probably listening and what is going on in that room.
And it was just pretty traumatic, but they eventually got a doctor, an OB GYN down and they took me up to labor and delivery. And within a few minutes of being up there, I had delivered her. And I remember looking. The midwife who was there helping deliver and saying, after Addie came out, I said like I had this moment, like maybe she's not, maybe she didn't die.
I was just like, is she alive? Like I was just asking. They're like, no, sweetheart, she's not. And I just remember thinking like, what, like, how am I gonna do this? Like, how do you move forward from this? What do we, what do I do now? And they let us hold her. And my husband was just really, Adam was just incredible.
During that whole experience, they let us hold her. And I remember, I didn't know, they asked about the pictures and I was like, Again, just so in shock, you prepare for certain people in your life to die. And I know that might sound weird, but as humans, we know how life works, and if you grow up, you have a beautiful life.
You get older and like, it still is so sad, but you pass away and that's what we're conditioned and prepared for. But when you lose a baby and a child or someone who is. Like a younger person that is not what we're conditioned for. That is not how brain works. And so I was just in this different mindset and I also didn't know of anyone who had gone through this.
So I didn't know that you should take pictures and that there can be like all of these different. Opportunities to hold your baby longer. Keep them with you in a cuddle cot for different things that were available. I had no idea. So thankfully our nurse, I'll never forget her. She said to us, listen, guys, if you don't ever want to look at the pictures, you don't have to, but I cannot let you not have a picture with your daughter.
I can't let you not have pictures of her. So please take the pictures. It is okay. If you never wanna look at them, that's fine. They're gonna be on this like drive. But I want to know, like for me, I need to know that you have them. So we said, okay, this is nor if this is okay. Like if this isn't weird, cuz I don't know.
Like I just remember feeling again, I was younger and I, I just remember thinking like, are people looking at me like weird. Do people do this and right. And her comforting words and her being there walking through us. And what we call here at the rose foundation is just that like gentle guidance of saying, listen, I understand this how this goes.
If you don't wanna look at the pictures, you don't have to, but I need you to take them. I need to know that you have them. I'm thankful for her every day, because I look at Addie all the time and I am so grateful that we have them. And I know so many families do not. And for years and years before our loss, a lot of mothers couldn't even hold their babies.
They were taken right away. So I feel very grateful for our nurse who encouraged us and really provided that gentle guidance. Throughout our time in the hospital, we talk about it in our support groups that we run a lot, but I certainly have some regret. And things now doing this work and walking alongside families early in their grief that I will gently suggest or guide them to do with their baby.
I really wish that we had done some more, just spent more time taken, more pictures, taken a video, read her a book, given her about like, Those different things, but I've done a lot of work in therapy too. And in our support groups that I just, you can't, no one is prepared for that. No one is prepared to hold their child who has passed away and there's no right or wrong.
Really. There's just, you do your best. You do what you can. But that, yeah, that was, Alan's not her story, but that was her birth story and her story of loss. And she continues to have a story. Every day now. And we still parent her in different ways and honor her how we can. But that was a moment. And so many families, I don't know if you, you feel this way too, but I feel like there was certainly.
Before Addie. And after Addie, it really was this pivotal moment where I changed to the core and it changed our relationship. It changed me as an individual. It changed Adam. It changed our dynamics with our family. It changed so much, but she is. My baby girl. And she will always be, and she has given us so many beautiful gifts and I love her and I cannot wait to see her again one day.
And until that day I will continue to honor her and help other families that are struggling and grieving their babies. She has left
Katie Hill16:01
such a beautiful legacy in all of the amazing work that you do and your husband and everyone on your organization. Thank you so much for sharing your story and about Adalyn rose.
There's so. Trauma after trauma, like you said, it's outside of the typical cycle of life to lose a baby. And I think we're not prepared for it as women, especially as young women. And I very much related to the naivety around pregnancy. And I knew people like lost pregnancies, but that was about it. Yeah. I didn't really know.
I didn't think it would ever happen to me. and I, it does. It just changes you, but I'm so glad to hear that. Was able to offer that encouragement to you. I like that gentle. You said gentle guidance. Mm-hmm yeah. That's a beautiful way to describe it because that's something that we've found like this is just a small point.
I was thinking about with, with the medical team that they've often said how it's difficult for them, like the nurses and the doctors. And so they're grateful for organizations like ours to come in and support. So it's really, I'm glad that she took that. To
Chloe Ciferri17:09
help and support you guys. Mm-hmm , I'm sure it's not always first off.
I just have to just shout out all of these nurses and doctors and I, because they truly, some of our, the nurses and doctors we have, I will remember them forever. They truly. Made the worst experience of our life, the wonderful and not so wonderful. They, but they were so wonderful and their care. And, and certainly you have people that leave a totally different impression too, and can really hurt and say hurtful and painful things.
But I will. Always I Fran was our nurse's name and we actually I'll get into that later. But just part of what we do is we have angel libraries in some of our local hospitals. And when we delivered it to Einstein, which is where I delivered Addie, Fran was actually there and it was her and I both, we were like crying.
I was like a mess. Cause I was just like, if you would not have given me that guidance and reassured me. Don't know how I like, I would've regretted that, that would've been really hard not to have any photos of her and. Honestly for the angel library initiative that we started here, that was one of our main things was to give the nurses and the healthcare workers sort of an avenue to suggest creating memories or doing different things with their baby while they still could, because.
You only, when you deliver your baby and they're still born, you get, you have that one day and it is very important to me in doing this work to give our families every opportunity and all of the gentle guidance we can because no one knows what to do with the angel library. We actually have tons of.
That the families are able to keep and take home with them, but they can, but the nurses will suggest if you wanna read with your baby, like we're, we'll all leave the room. If you want some music on, if you just wanna read to them, if you, we can put their hand print in this book for you, their living siblings at home, you can take this book and then go read it with them.
It's just a way to, to make some sort of memory and almost break. I know this sounds weird, but people listening to this will most likely get it. It's like breaking the ice of okay. This isn't weird. This is my child. No one here is looking at me weird. They're encouraging me to do this. You start that. And then they feel more comfortable to spend more time with their baby.
They're taking more pictures or video. Like they are almost, it gives the families like that permission of, we know you don't, we know you weren't prepared for this, or we know. This can feel really uncomfortable, but we want you to know, as the hospital staff from the Adelin rose foundation from all of us, this is your time and we are not judging you take this time and do whatever you need.
We're here to support you. And it's more of that just icebreaker. And, but I'm really, I've been really glad that was a newer initiative. We started this past year and we've gotten really good feedback on that. And I'm really happy of that, but I always think of Fran when we're getting a new library together, I'm like, Here's the gentle guidance for for the families, because everyone deserves that in that.
Yeah. Oh,
Katie Hill20:12
that's so beautiful. So while we're talking about the different services that you guys provide, would you wanna share about, you have so many wonderful initiatives. We are really inspired by you guys. I know my husband. Oh, Katie on the right home. He was like, you gotta
Chloe Ciferri20:28
connect with her more. This is what I, I feel the same way about you guys.
And yeah, if I will. So honest in saying so much of our growth and expansion and really taking risks and doing new things. I have to give our board and Adam so many props because I am very routine. And reserved. And I have my schedule and I am like, okay, this is what works and this is, and Adam's. Yeah. But let's, you know what else we need to do?
And I'm like, okay, I am so tired. And, but you know what, babe? I do like that idea and you know what you're right. And I can't. Like I'm on this podcast talking, Adam has a full-time job on top of all he does. He's the president for the foundation and he does so many he's heads on and shares so many of our different programs and initiatives.
But I have to first, before I even get into any of it, just give him a shout out because to be honest with you, I don't even think we would, if it would had just been up to me, we wouldn't be where we are with all these different things. And I don't even know if I would've had a strength or I guess.
Audacity to launch a nonprofit. And so I just gotta give them and our board is incredible and they are truly a working board and just work their butts off to serve and to give back and to make sure we are doing things the right way. So we do a lot and it's because we have some really great people, but our, the core of our foundation and the mission is to always support families immediately be that gentle guidance immediately.
When a family loses a child. At any point during pregnancy through infancy the first year of life, we so the support. But when you look at what does that really look like? Our main initiative, where we started was funding for funeral cremations, because. We went to, to go get Addie's ashes. And Adam's sister said, no, you guys are not paying for this.
And we were like, Laura, we're fine. We can pay for it. Like financially, we are fine. And she said, but no, it's not about that. I know you guys can afford it, but you should not have to. And so I remember our bill was like $350 and she paid for it all. And it stuck with us so much because it meant that someone saw.
Our grief saw this horrible thing that happened to us. And they were saying like, you're not alone in this. Like we are I'm with you sister I'm with you brother. Like we are going to get through this together and you should not have to pay for this because you shouldn't have to have gone through it.
Right. So that's, to be honest, where the majority of our funding goes is to pay for a funeral cremation cost for families we've paid now for over 150 families in Pennsylvania. We're. Really just connecting with families through the different funeral homes. And we have about five partner hospitals now.
And so the family will get our information and we usually talk to. Typically, honestly, while they're still in the hospital, because you have to figure that stuff out, which it's so hard to like even navigate yeah. Navigate where do we wanna go? What funeral home do we use? Do we do a funeral? Do we do a cremation?
No one should have to find, right. That was
Katie Hill23:43
something that I had no idea. Like I think when I was in the hospital, they said, you have to figure this out. They were nice about it, but that's a law in Pennsylvania. Like I think people don't realize. Yep. Because I remember. Somebody acting like, oh, you had a, you buried the baby.
Yeah. You have to, you have to do one or the other, like you, can't just, honestly, I'm glad we're talking about it here, because I think that's an important thing for people to, to realize like, yes, that it's not like it's some choice that. Right. Parents are making it. It is a choice they need to make. Yeah.
And well, I love that you guys are supporting
Chloe Ciferri24:15
in that way. And then too, I was actually speaking with someone and they were like, the family really wants to do this and that, and it is getting more expensive. And my initial reaction, I just said to them, it's their child.
Katie Hill24:25
They, they should be able to
Chloe Ciferri24:27
honor their baby, however they feel.
And however they want. So that's like always our. First thing when we're talking to families is just cuz so many will say, what do I do? I don't know. What's okay. I don't know. And I say, I know like you were not thinking of this, like you, no one like plans this out in your gut, what would you feel most comfortable?
How would you want to honor your baby? Like we will work with you to make that happen. And so for some families, it is doing a full funeral and we set up I've attended. Way more than I ever would've wanted in my life too, but funerals for these babies. And it just, it's so sad and heartbreaking, but it's also knowing that this family is doing what they feel will bring them some comfort and peace and honor their baby.
So some families choose to do that. And some families are like Adam and I, and we had add cremated and we have our earn at home with us. There's really so many different ways and things that you can do to honor your baby. You just don't know when you're in that moment, unless someone's helping you and guiding you.
And that's working with our funerals. We have really great funeral directors too, who are, will help families navigate that. But we really just try to let the families know we will. We usually try to pay as much as we can to cover all the costs of work with the funeral homes, because. We've had so many families come to us with that.
They were gonna do a payment plan and just no one should have to do that. No one should have to. Yeah. So that's where the core of our mission and our funding is. And if everything else, if we couldn't ever do anything else like that, we'll always stay. Because it is our way to help these families honor their babies and, and put them to rest peacefully and in whatever way that they feel is right for them and help them guide them through that, because it's really hard.
So that is like, the core is funding for that. And you
Katie Hill26:17
guys are based in writing Pennsylvania and you mentioned 150 families. Is that throughout Pennsylvania
Chloe Ciferri26:22
or, yeah, correct? Yes. Okay. So we provide funding for families for funeral and cremations, as long as they're MPA. When we started, we were nationwide and throughout the country helping.
And we just realized that unfortunately we had to just hone in on. PA. And, and I would say probably 80% of our funding comes from BES county and the closer surrounding areas of people that contact us. But we are open. We've had people in Pittsburgh and different areas throughout PA contact us as well.
And we are. Honored to help them any way we can as well. Yeah. We're based in Redding, PA, but really service all of Pennsylvania with those that funding. And that's like our initial, like I said, like that is our initial connecting with the families, helping them in that way. We have the angel libraries, which have become a really.
Special way to connect with families and give them a way to honor their babies and connect and make memories with their babies while they're still here, earth side families can continue to donate books to the libraries. They just continue to get refilled in the different local hospitals that we have them in.
And then the families can take them. We have a lot of families that will like ongoing donate books and honor of their baby. And we put a little sticker with their baby's name on it. So that's like our initial. Family just lost a baby. What do you do? Those are our initial services. And then we also send a care package to each of these families that we connect with.
Usually we will wait like a month or so after the loss, because I don't know if you felt this, but like with add, it was like, I remember people like bringing us some hot meals and there was so much like support in those first couple weeks. And then it's, I don't know, life moves on for people. People are like, they're in work.
They're going to work their life. Your life is like frozen and you're like stopped in your tracks. And it's really hard that first year, really, but life seems to move forward for everyone else. So we like to send it like a month or so afterwards, just to remind the family, we're always gonna remember your baby.
I still remember the names of the babies, that, of all the families we've helped and, and. Send them a little something to like bring them some comfort after some things the support seem to go away per se. So that's our more initial and more specific family support. And then we also just have ongoing support for our families.
And we have a support group that runs in person with a therapist once a month. We've ran a pregnancy after loss support group, which was really great for moms that were expecting after their baby had died. We. Really love to host really, which you were just at, but these events for families, we have three, what we call, give back events, where we try to provide as many free tickets and as much free of cost experiences to our families.
So for father's day, we do a baseball game where we give away as many free tickets as we're able to. They have a buffet and they have free raffle tickets. We really try to get as much as much to them just to come enjoy and not have to worry about money or anything like that. Just come and enjoy this event and be around other people who get it.
So we do a mother's day, a father's day and a sibling day, and those are our three give back events, which are just really fun. Like I know that sounds weird. That word. In this context, but it is, it's like the
Katie Hill29:41
perfect word to describe it. And to me, I feel like it's so awesome that you have that and that it is fun because yeah.
You wanna remember your baby and when your kids are here on earth, you have fun with them all the time. Yes. Cause I love it. I think it's so nice to have these moments where it is fun. Like it reminds me a little bit of my pregnancy with my son, Isaac, so we knew he was sick. So we tried. So I remember moments of fun when we went to Disney world when I was pregnant with him.
And I think back about that, and it was so fun and I kind, I feel like he was there with us. Oh, I love that. I've chilled. Yeah. And the kids remember, and they say, oh, that's you were pregnant with Isaac. And we never got to bring him home here, but they remember him and they remember. The fun we had with them and the same.
And they knew when we went to can Nobles, we've had a couple of our kids events and kids services, but every time we're able to incorporate that fun element into it, I feel like it's huge. Yeah.
Chloe Ciferri30:39
Because I never wanted to be like every time specifically my kids and our, our family, but then just in general, like anyone thinking of Adalyn or.
And being like, Ugh, like this is bad. No, like she's beautiful. Like her legacy continues like, yes, there was so much trauma. And the fact that she is no longer here with us on earth, it's horrible. And I wish every day that she was still here, but we're going to continue. You'll never move on, but you move forward and we're gonna move forward in.
A way, that's going to honor her and to do her justice and give her a legacy by just even literally I think back and meeting you at the, the sibling event. And I just saw you walking up with this huge smile on your face. And I was like, this is what it's all about. Like our children want us to be happy and to connect with one another and to have just a positive impact on this world.
And so if nothing else, I just wanna be a light. I want my kids to be a light for other people. Provide some happiness, cuz I know that's what Adalyn has brought me since we found out we were pregnant with her and will always bring us. So I think incorporating the fun and the positivity is so important and we really do try to do that.
We have our empty stroller 5k coming up in October and I remember last year it was our first time in person. One of our lost moms came up to me and she was like, Chloe, I didn't think I could ever have so much fun at a fundraiser for babies that have passed away. This was like the. Like this was such a fun day.
And I remember looking at her and saying that makes me so happy to hear that your daughter is being honored today. She had her daughter's name there. They all had these shirts with their family. But so there were moments like you're definitely sad. There were definitely moments I had to step away and I was crying in emotional.
But it's also like our big phrase is our babies are silent, but we will always honor them loudly. And so that's like for our 5k, what I feel like was done and just having a really good time together and laughing, cuz that's what our kids would
Katie Hill32:47
want. Yes. Oh, I totally agree. We had our first in person 5k last year too.
And it was amazing, but it was a very similar feeling as when I walked up to the siblings event. Like I had chills just thinking of, oh my gosh, this is I kind, I felt like all the babies were there. I could feel the presence. There's so much love that, but the families have, I guess that's always been a big thing that I've found with my pregnancy loss journey and talking with other people is you mentioned when you first found out you were pregnant with Addie, like you.
Planning like immediately. And that was the same for me with every one of my pregnancies. I just started. Okay, how are we gonna do this? And that love starts. And so I love that we have these different opportunities to put that love out into the world and make such a difference. People do.
Chloe Ciferri33:34
Feel it. And I love that you said the word opportunities.
I feel like I use that a lot. So I was actually having a conversation with someone the other day and they were asking about our different events. And so they're all in the park. So that's the big theme. We do a mother's day in the park. It's with yoga and wine and photography. They can get a picture with any, anything they wanna bring or their support.
And then we do father's day in the park, which is at a ballpark, it's at the Redding Philly stadium. And then we do siblings in the park, which is at an amusement park. And so I was talking with someone about like how important these three events are to us and how I consider them a part of like our programming and like the programs when you're talking and running a nonprofit.
I consider these events like our programs because they are events like other nonprofits have. For me, I look at it as we need to give families a way to continue honoring their babies and being with others in the community, but also continuing their relationship with their baby after they pass away after they die.
And it might sound different or weird, but like, After someone dies, you continue to have a relationship with them. You continue with God forbid, your mother dies. Your father dies. The best friend dies they're gone, but you continue to think about them and honor them and remember them and do things that will make you think back on a time that you did.
You still continue. It's a different relationship. It looks completely different, but you still have that bond and relationship. and the same thing is with our babies. So by having these different events and providing families and mothers and fathers and siblings and grandparents and aunts and uncles with an opportunity to go and talk about their child and remember their baby and continue making things in their honor, we have some really cool things coming for our next mother's day event and doing D.
Things to continue that relationship and to continue honoring your baby. I just feel like that is so extremely important because if we don't give families, if you know us as in these organizations and nonprofits, we don't give these families these opportunities to come together and to honor their babies together, then they're in it alone.
And they're doing things they're just by themselves, it's in isolation. And truly, I don't feel like before I had this type of community, I didn't feel as comfortable doing it and I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know how, I didn't know where, how to do this. And so I think by providing these different events, it gives families a day.
We call it like our Addie time, or just a way to continue that bond, to continue that relationship, to continue honoring our.
Katie Hill36:24
Yeah. Oh, I love it. And we plan to continue to support your events. So definitely be on the lookout and for everybody, the butterfly baskets community. Yeah. We went to a writings Philly's game for my oldest Cub Scouts and it was so
Chloe Ciferri36:38
fun.
It is so fun.
Katie Hill36:40
So I definitely recommend, and then yeah. Park. They do a great job. They really oh,
Chloe Ciferri36:45
they're yeah, they're incredible there. That's where we have. Yeah, we'll do the 5k there, but we love doing the father's day cuz it's just there's stuff for everyone. And it's just like a really great energy and it's just a fun, like a fun ballpark.
It was perfect for father's day. But yeah, we were brought funny guys. You are always welcome and we wanna support you guys as well. I was just talking to someone this morning at a meeting of, of how this is how we can truly all. Help one another is just by talking and communicating and supporting each other because this is such a need.
And there are so many families that have struggled in silence and grieved in silence, and we need to break the silence and the stigma, and we're the ones to do that. And so we can do that better by working together and supporting one another. Definitely.
Katie Hill37:33
I definitely agree. Thank you so much. I know we're coming up on our hour here.
Yeah. So if people wanna learn more about Adalyn rose foundation, or if they have questions about the support that you offer, where can they find out more? And you mentioned it's open to everyone in Pennsylvania. So what do people do if they're in the hospital or if someone's listening and they know someone in the hospital
Chloe Ciferri37:55
mm-hmm , if you just Google Adalyn rose foundation, all of our stuff comes up.
Our website is Adalyn rose.org. And Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, all at Adalyn rose foundation. And we have a form right on there. We just redid our website recently. And I was talking with the designers and I said, I really want. This to stand out for families. I really want them to be able to find the support they need quickly when they get to our website.
So literally if you go on our website, there's a tab that says I just lost my baby. Families can click that. And then it takes them right down to our contact form, which will connect them to us. And we will reach out. However, they would like, you can select, if you want us to call you text you or, or email, and we will respond to you within 24 hours to get you the support.
And usually we can be pretty quick and call you within the next hour or so after we get your form. But yeah, anything people need related to loss. We really try to support and help in those initial days. And then. Even if someone's lost their baby years ago, you're always welcome to join this community.
And I know you guys feel the same. It doesn't matter how long ago it was. We all grieve differently and your grief is valid. Whether your baby passed away a few days ago, weeks ago, months ago, years ago, we're all in this together supporting one another. So if you need us, we are here. Please reach out. I'm happy to talk.
Katie Hill39:20
Thank you so much, Chloe. I totally agree. Connection is everything and there's community out there and we are so glad you are here with us today. Thank you. Thank
Chloe Ciferri39:31
you so much for having me.
Katie Hill39:33
Thank you so much for listening to this episode with Chloe. I wanna give a huge thank you to Chloe for sharing some of our story and for sharing about the wonderful work that the Adalyn rose foundation is doing.
We are so grateful to be in community with all of. If you listen to this and you are interested in sharing some of your story, please check out the show notes and send me an email with any questions or to schedule talk soon.
Related Resources:
Adalyn Rose Foundation, https://adalynrose.org/
Butterfly Baskets Flutter Run, Wilson Farm Park, November 6th, https://runsignup.com/Race/PA/Wayne/butterflybasketsorg